Posted by: chlost | January 30, 2010


I have two younger sisters.  I also have a younger brother.  I have one daughter.  My son has two daughters.  It is very interesting to see sisters growing up together.  My daughter always wanted to have a sister.  She got stuck with two brothers.  I think she would like to be close to her sisters-in-law.  But they live so far apart, it is very challenging to maintain a close relationship.  Of course, the only thing that they can say that they have in common, at least to start out, is that they love the same guy-in different ways, obviously!

My sisters and I fought a lot.  I am the oldest, there are 3 years between me and my middle sister, then 2 years between her and our youngest sister.  Our brother was another 5 years younger, and has always been on the sidelines of my sisters and my life. When we were young, my middle sister tended to vacillate between me and the youngest. If she was fighting with me, she was friendly to our youngest sister.  If she was mad at the youngest, she would be friends with me.  My youngest sister and I really weren’t that close growing up.

We live in different parts of the country now that we are adults.  The youngest sister is married, has a teen-aged son, and lives on the east coast.  Our middle sister is divorced, but in a long-term relationship, has two adult children,  and lives in Chicago.  I am married, have 3 grown children, a daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren.  I live in the middle of the country. We have very different careers.

My sisters and I are probably closer now than we were most of the time growing up.  We talk on the phone at least weekly.  We still give each other birthday gifts.  We usually get together at least once every year. We planned a trip abroad for 14 people, from our 3 different areas of the country, and one  trip planning  weekend in Chicago. When my sister in Chicago separated from her husband, I went there for support.  When the youngest had her child prematurely, my middle sister and I traveled to be there.  When my mother had a stroke, we all were at the hospital and planned her future together.  My middle sister and I moved our mother’s belongings from California to the east coast.  We vacation together.  We spend holidays together.  The men and children in our lives are used to this. My husband objects if my sisters and I are on the same team for a game.  He complains that we think too much alike.  When we played Pictionary one time, we could guess what the other was drawing with just two straight lines. We know what the other is thinking.  It is difficult to tell us apart by just our voices. 

Now, I see my granddaughters growing up as sisters.  They are almost exactly two years apart in age.  The older one will be 3 in April, her sister will be one. They are just starting to build their relationship.  My younger granddaughter is fascinated by her big sister.  She laughs at her, and tries to interact with her.  The older granddaughter is a bit jealous, but wants to be in charge of her sister.  She will scold her if she gets into something that she shouldn’t.  She tries to take away toys that are too dangerous for the younger sister.  But, she also wrestles her sister, ignoring her crying.  She had a short time when she would bite her.  She has simply pushed her over.  Then, there are the kisses and hugs.  They both kiss each other often.  They snuggle together.  The younger sister reaches out to touch her older sister as they sit next to each other.  The younger sister also tries to push her older sister away when she is done with the hugging.

What is it about this bond?  Why does it seem different than the bond that my daughter has with her brothers?  Why do sisters become close? What brings on the fights?  Some sisters hate each other and are never close, others have a bond that never weakens.  I am fascinated by this.  I would like to know-what makes us sisters?


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