Posted by: chlost | August 30, 2010

There are times that you just know

There are times in your life that you just know that something is going to be a turning point. Having your first child, for example, you know that your life will never be the same. Getting married usually is also that way. I guess for some people who have been living together for many years, going on to marriage may not mean a big change in their lives.

When you look back, are there other times that you did not realize would be important, life changing moments? Things that you did or did not do which you only realized in retrospect have influenced or changed the course of your life.

As I look back, I realize that accepting a particular part-time job in college meant that I met my husband-we would not have met otherwise.  My father moved for his job which meant that I lived in this state and went to college here-thus being in the position of taking that job and meeting my husband. Of course, I had no idea at the time how these everyday decisions would affect my future.

I have read about car accidents, and the collapse of the 35W bridge here in Minnesota.  It brings to my mind how a small decision made by those affected by it, and those not affected by it could change their lives forever.  My daughter had been on the bridge 15 minutes before it collapsed. If she had been running late, or stopped to get a cup of coffee at Starbucks, or had picked up a friend, she could have been killed on that bridge. Some of those who were killed made small decisions which resulted in them being on the bridge at that time on that day.

It may not be quite as dramatic, but I have had something happen today which could affect my job, the career of someone else, and others with whom I work. I have been put in the very uncomfortable position of having to make a decision about whether or not to report possible professional misconduct against an important person. A person whom I like. I have strict requirements in my profession about this. There could be professional misconduct repercussions against me if I were required to report this and don’t.

This is the type of situation which could change my career. I know it ahead of time. It does not make it any easier.

It is not a good feeling.



  1. I don’t envy you your position.

    My experience with such things has not been positive and I always wind up the loser.

    I will pray that you have the strength and courage to deal with this and the aftermath that will surely follow.

    • Thanks-it is still working its way out.

  2. I echo Kay’s comments. Each time I have stuck my head above the parapet I have ended up very exposed and unsupported.

    I suppose there is no doubt about the facts concerning the person involved or extenuating circumstances that you might not be aware of? But from what I know of you already I am quite sure that you will proceed with integrity and caution.

    Good luck, we’ll be thinking of you. An absolutely horrible position to be in.

    Ignore this next comment if not appropriate but you have been saying for a while that you felt like a change of direction. This does not make your current decision any easier but perhaps further down the line things may look different in the light of those feelings.

    • Unless you have a job that I could get there in England ( I would LOVE to live in England!) I am afraid that I am stuck for a while. I’ve tried, believe me, to get into something else. Still working on that end of things.

  3. Good Luck! I trust that in the end, you will make the right decision. 🙂

  4. You will live with your decision either way you decide. The choice is which way you can most easily live with.

  5. I’ve always been left hanging as well; so sorry to hear you have to make such a decision. Why can’t people just behave and make it easy on everyone else? Hope it all works out for you somehow. Wouldn’t life be something if you could just move where you wanted to live and have work there you could do to support yourself? Or to be so wealthy you could just visit places for months on end and not have to worry about working? Oh to dream…

    • Yes, I have big dreams and a small wallet.

  6. Oh, man, that’s a tough spot to be in. A lose-lose, really. All you can do is grit your teeth and make whatever decision feels best for you.

    • I am still gritting my teeth. But, I am trying to just let it go as best I can. Thanks!

  7. It’s not a good position to be in, but I have a feeling that you’ll do the right thing and report it, even though it could negatively affect you…just the vibe I get from reading your posts and comments on my blog.

    Good luck…

    • Thanks-any luck is appreciated!

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