Posted by: chlost | September 11, 2010

Glad THAT is over!

Yesterday was a special day for me. Part of the day was given over to    looking back at the past year. It has not seemed like a good year, to put it mildly.

Within the past year, I have had to deal with some big issues-

I had to have emergency eye surgery to ensure I did not lose my sight in one eye;

My sister died on the day before her 50th birthday;

My brother-in-law started dating 6 months after my sister’s death;

My husband’s aunt died;

My husband has had to spend nearly every evening and weekend day dealing with his crazy brother over the estate of their aunt;

My oldest son broke it off with his live-in girlfriend of 2 years;

My 80 year-old mother is moving from the East Coast to an apartment 5 minutes from my house.

But after thinking it over, I realized that there were some good things that happened:

My mother is moving to an apartment 5 minutes from my house;

We learned that we are expecting a new grandchild next April;

Our daughter earned her Master’s degree and we were able to be there for the graduation;

Our daughter and her significant other both got jobs after graduation;

Our youngest son got a promotion.

I guess when you look at it in an objective manner, it seems that things more or less balanced out. It doesn’t look all that bad, does it?

Then I began to look back a little further, say over the past 5 years. I tend to think of the very difficult things first:

My father died 5 years ago this upcoming December;

One of my best friends from high school died this upcoming October, just a few days shy of her 50th birthday;

I had two very serious medical issues, one of which resulted in me being resuscitated, and I still have ongoing problems;

Our daughter moved out of state to attend graduate school.

There also have been good things over the past five years:

Our youngest son has had 2 beautiful daughters whom we love all to pieces;

That same son married a wonderful young woman whom we could not love more were she our daughter;

Our daughter moved out of state to attend graduate school and met a young man who loves her and makes her very happy.

Again, it seems to balance out on paper, more or less, but as I lived it, it felt like a difficult 5 years as well.

After looking at things from both sides, I had to admit that things could be worse. So much worse.

This is life. My life.  I am trying to see things in a positive light.

However, I am very glad that the past year is behind me.

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Responses

  1. As with most of us, you got the bitter with the sweet. Staying posutive is the hardest thing I do.
    And no, I don’t talk about most of it.

    • I am struggling with the staying positive part. I want to. I admire you that you have been able to maitain the positive.

  2. I can hear your struggling, through your posts although you put on such a brave face: that emotion is how I feel a lot of the time, but try so hard to make the most of every minute. Apart from owing it to myself, I feel I owe that to those who have died yet wanted to continue living. Fatigue, grief and emotional exhaustion are largely behind these struggles: be assured, they will pass. I just wish you could find a job which demanded less of you at such a time.


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