Posted by: chlost | November 4, 2010

Adjusting to a new life

A new life at age 80. Can you even imagine it?

My mom was born and grew up in Wisconsin,near “the Dells”. as they call it. She went to nursing school in Wisconsin. When she and my dad married, they eventually moved to Minnesota. I grew up there, except for a short 4 years in New York State. 

After my parents divorced, my mom moved to California, at age 50, taking my brother with her. She lived there twenty-eight years. 

At age 78, she had a stroke while we were having a big family vacation in North Carolina. So, she ended up living near my sister and brother-in-law in Virginia. She couldn’t fly on a plane, or drive, or even ride in a car for long distances, so my other sister and I went to California, packed up her stuff and got it moved out to Virginia one weekend. That story could be a book just by itself.  She left for a vacation, and never went back. That was very hard, not to mention the struggles for her health.

Then my sister in Virginia died last February. So, for the second time in 2 years, my mom is moving again. This time it is by choice, more or less, going from Virginia to Minnesota.

I’ve already had a lesson in what my life is going to be like now.

Yesterday, I had a little time in the afternoon, so I planned to take her to get her state I.D. card.  She is quite worried about having that. When I got to her apartment, she said she had been feeling a little tired. But she wanted to go anyway, so we started down to the car. She was so out of breath that she could not get to the elevator without having to stop and rest.  As we were driving to the license bureau, I suggested that we try to get her an appointment with my doctor. To my surprise, she agreed. That told me she really was not feeling well.

After a call to the doctor’s office, and a return trip to my home to get her long list of medications, I ended up taking her to the emergency room She had mild congestive heart failure, a bladder infection, and elevated blood pressure. They sent her home with three new medications, and instructions to see the doctor in five days.

No wonder she was feeling “a bit tired”.

 My plans for the day went out the window, obviously. All of the lists were left and are still to be done. 

My husband, bless his heart, stopped by her place on the way home from work, and tried to figure out why her newly installed cable television was not working. He then took me out to dinner.

We’re not in Kansas anymore. This is going to be a new life for both of us.

And we’re just getting started.



  1. Best wishes my friend. I know you are entering an all new phase of your life and are unsure of what lies ahead. Your mother is lucky to have you and to have had your sister to assist her. You will probably be facing all kinds of challenges with your Mom’s health and her care, but hopefully you will also get to experience many happy new memories together in the coming years. Have a great day! 🙂

    • We are certainly in the process of settling into a new routine and how this is all going to work. I enjoy being with her, but we both need space. It’s going to be interesting! Thanks for your support.

  2. Interesting that your mom is from Wisconsin — so is my mom — north of Ripon.

    I’m sure you both have a big transition coming.

    And I’ve decided to give up lists — either I lose them or get depressed because I haven’t the energy to get things done. Either way, they’re a waste of time.

    • As long as I write something down, I tend to remember it. I don’t really need the list itself. Wisconsin is an interesting place. She has really never left there, but would never voluntarily move back. It was a very small town, and it is not doing well economically. But, that is where she wants to be buried!!!

  3. Thank you for keeping us posted. Yes, it is a new life. We did this with our friend Duck.

  4. That’s quite an adjustment you are all having to make.

    • Taking it day by day.

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