Shopping in a place where dead animals look down on you does not make it any better

Generally, I hate shopping. I realize that this goes against stereotype, as everyone knows that women love to shop. When I shop, I feel as though I am being tortured. Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but it is awful.

Yesterday, my husband dragged me along to shop. Yes, that is another statement against stereotype. He really doesn’t love to shop, but he was on a mission. He needed a pair of jeans. That is the difference between most men and most women when shopping. Men are shopping for a specific item. Most women just love to look for bargains.

I love online shopping.

We headed to a huge sporting goods store. He had seen a pair of jeans in their catalog. He wears jeans for work, and they take a beating. It is remarkable if a pair of jeans lasts just a few months. I tried to beg off, but he insisted that I accompany him. He likes to have company.

The store is huge. Acres. As big as it was, it was still crowded with Thanksgiving weekend shoppers. As big as it was, the aisles were still crowded with merchandise which made it difficult to walk without knocking something off a rack. It was nearly impossible to pass another person in those aisles.

The store carries guns. Lots and lots of guns. They carry hunting,  fishing, camping,  and all sorts of outdoor activity equipment. There are rows and rows of shoes, boots, jackets, ammunition, and men’s and women’s  outdoor clothing. 

And there are stuffed animals.

These are taxidermy specimens. Real animals stuffed for display. All around the store, on walls, on the floors, in displays with waterfalls. Designed to look rather lifelike.

The Northern U.S. display had mountain lions and wolves and badgers, on fake snowy artificial rocks.

There were people gathered all around this display, showing their children and other loved ones the animals, reading off the names of each species.

The African display had a mural of sun and sky behind lions, elephant, water buffalo, and numerous smaller animals. This display was much more like a museum display, with each animal lined up in a semi-circle. Again, the parents were excitedly pointing out the dead, stuffed animals to their children. The children seemed to lose interest as they realized that the animals were not alive.

All around the store walls were heads. Heads of stuffed elk, moose, deer, antelope, and any other animal which is stuffable. 

My husband loves this store. I hated it. He was excited to show me the African exhibit. He was a bit hurt that I did not find it as wonderful as he did. He is a hunter. I am not. He loves natural history museums. I do not.

I had to leave the store to go out to the car while he checked out at the register. I could not handle the crowd, heat, or animals any longer. It was like being in Walmart, only with real stuffed animals joining in the crowd.

Online shopping looks even better to me today.

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