Posted by: chlost | December 19, 2010

It’s all downhill from here, right?

Today I’m listing three positive things for the eighteenth day of December.

Before that, I have to point out that this year has just gotten worse and worse.

Despite my warnings, December was not canceled.

My husband’s colleague from work died from suicide. My husband went to the service on Thursday. He was quite impressed with the way the issue of the suicide was handled by the minister. There was a very frank discussion of the illness of depression, and the issues surrounding this man’s ultimate act of desperation in light of that illness. He was 60 years old. Although I never met the man, my husband has told me about him many times. My thoughts are with his family, having to deal with this during the holidays.

Issues with my mom continue. My sister’s stoic handling of my mom’s needs  over the past two years amazes me. She rarelycomplained. I have been complaining. I don’t know how my sister did it. Each day brings something new. Have you ever had to choose a medicare supplemental plan? I had no idea what that entails. How could an elderly person be expected to make an informed decision on this? It is an overwhelming task. Yet my sister handled that.  I had no idea what she must have had to deal with in making just that decision, let alone everything else.

Thanks, Kath!

But, on to the positives-it is now 18 days’ worth here. I will stop complaining and get on to the positive list.

December 18, 2010:

1. I spent the morning with my oldest son, shopping with him for a suit. He has a big job interview, and at age 30, has never had a suit. Big kudos to Reggie, the tailor at Joseph Banks, who did the alterations within about 2 hours so that my son would be able to have it for Monday’s interview.  It was fun to watch my son preen a bit in the mirror as he saw himself all decked out.  The salesman also was very supportive of my son, giving him tips for the interview-“Look them in the eye and own that job!”

2. My brother went with me to visit my mom and take her out to dinner.

3. I found a cute outfit for my granddaughter that my mom can give her as a Christmas gift. My mom liked it, too.

I will add that there is a 4th good thing that didn’t affect me personally, but is a  positive change for many others—-DADT was finally repealed.

Is it going to be easier after 18 days?



  1. Depression is frightful: it seems to be so difficult to treat. And many of us have been tempted at one time or another but step back from the brink when we think of the lasting pain we would leave with our families.

    Finding out amazing things about friends/family after they are dead is hard if we have not been able to express our appreciation. But it happens to us all and will happen to your family too after you are gone. And would we have it any other way? I don’t want my family to know about any sacrifices I may make, it comes with the territory. I prefer to be private and quiet about such things.

    But all that aside, a good day. And finding the positives is not to deny the negatives, but merely to make sure that we live a balanced life. We owe that to ourselves. Well done again. I will keep my fingers crossed for the rest of December. Hugs again.

  2. Having battled depression and anxiety — probably since I was a child — I can identify with hopelessness that would drive one to that. I don’t take medication because I get weird side effects from all of it. The holiday season makes it worse with people thinking that no one is allowed to be depressed when Santa is coming.

    I’m so glad you’ve kept up your positive things!!! Less than two weeks and then you can be as crabby as you want to be!!!!

  3. Please hang in there Chlost! My family and I discussed your attempts to find the positives in even the worst of days and we are trying to put that into practice each night when we eat together. You continue to be an inspiration to us! My heart aches for your husbands friend and his family. How terribly sad.

  4. Nice to meet you….sad circumstances – yet glad I met you. Love the positive approach and the backside of middleage – guess that;s where I am yet a good place to be.
    Denise. North Yorkshire, UK.

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