Posted by: chlost | March 1, 2011

Limping through life

There are many things that I just haven’t gotten to over the past several weeks. Between work, taking care of my mom, helping out the kids with moving (and blogging), the end of the day suddenly appears, and I  find that there are still several items on the “to do” list. These items just seem to be passed along on the list from one day to another, and suddenly the days have become a week, and they are still not done. Other “do-its” get priority, and these certain things just ride along on the bottom of the list. The catfish of tasks.

Today, I finally called for a doctor’s appointment for my very painful knee. I have had bad knees for a long time. I have almost come to accept them. I have had cortisone shots here and there, and they help, but only for a short time. I take handfuls of ibuprofen, but they wear off and I don’t like to keep taking it. It can’t be good for me.

So……today I finally made the appointment with the orthopedist.  Why has it taken so long? One word-


It is so stupid, I know. But I know that the doctor will have nasty thoughts about me-that if I lost weight, I wouldn’t have so much trouble with my knees. He will be disgusted about it.   I know all of this, and I don’t want to deal with it. Because, honestly, I am disgusted with myself as well.  But recently I have been in a lot more pain, and several people have noticed and have been concerned.

Today, I finally felt how limited I have become with my walking, limping and barely able to stand for more than a few minutes. I realized that I have to do something.  I don’t want to be this way the rest of my life.  I’ve had enough.

Crap- I know he’s going to be thinking a whole lot of bad stuff about me.

And yet there are still a few catfish trolling along the bottom of that to-do list.



  1. Chlostie! He/she will NOT be thinking anything bad about you as a person! Trust me. If they do make any kind of remark, it is only from a purely medical standpoint. I have the same exact issue. I have been carrying around about 80 extra pounds ever since I got hurt and it has done nothing but added strain on my feet and legs. My Docs have been begging me for years to lose weight. I know I have to. Now, I just cut them off at the pass and walk in and say “I know..I know…” when they look at my chart and see my weight. You do need to get in to the Doc, you don’t need to be in continued pain. Maybe when it warms up you can go out and take walks outside with the husband….or ride bikes…etc….. Something that will help you lose a little weight. You can do it! If you need a buddy to spur ya on…I’ll be happy to help you. I’ll stay on your butt if you stay on mine! Deal? Good luck at the Doc!

    • Thanks for the encouragement. My husband has seen this doctor and has already told me about him-he is a good doctor but has a terrible personality. So I think I’m right about him. But it definitely needs to get done. We’ll see. Hope your PT is helping. Maybe both of us will be walking better soon.

  2. Walking is a wonderful thing. It only takes a couple months to become hooked on walking. My first walk was maybe a mile and I was in pain and cramping and taking ibruprofen that evening. Now I can do 4-5 without any tiredness at all. My blood pressure is normal (no meds). Go for it! You will feel so good. Also, walking is a good time to have discussions with yourself, and get rid of a lot of stress. Stress causes overeating; and if you are like me eating bad foods to feel better. You cannot make stress go away with your job, but exercise will reduce stress. Remember how you forced yourself to write one positive thought each day? Might I recommend tell us about one walk each day. Start small, keep going! Rah Rah Go!

    • Right now, I have trouble walking from the bed to the bathroom. One leg doesn’t straighten out completely. Cortisone shots don’t last long. I am hoping there is some therapy which will help. Once I can move, I would be able to do some more walking.

  3. I’m late to the discussion, but hope you can find a better doctor that you feel comfortable going to see. My doctor is a good friend of mine from shul and for me that makes all the difference. I know she likes me as a person so I feel at ease talking with her openly about my health struggles. She’s cheering me on all the time, even if I’m not cheering myself. She’ll be on the 5k with me on Mother’s Day.

    • What a wonderful doctor! This is a specialist. My family doctor is quite friendly. She runs, but not me!

  4. You are not lost chlost! I understand the pain you are undergoing with your bad knees. I must say that it is brave of you to visit your orthopedist. At least you can get your knee pain diagnosed.
    But belief me, you have knee pain mostly due to an initial back pain which later cause your knee problem.
    What I need you to do from today onwards is to:
    i. clench both your fists
    ii. place them on your back spine at the highest point you can
    iii. use your big knuckles and rub in circular motion (any way round) from highest point (do not over strain or overstretch)
    iv. points to massage are the points along the two sides of your back spinal cord (look for small lumps that hinders blood circulation and affect spinal nerves to the knees)
    v. keep massaging in circular motion from highest reachable points of spine to the TAIL end of the spine.
    vi. it can be quite tiring for you to do this initially.
    vii. apply enough pressure to feel tinging senses or slight pain to ensure you clear the channel all the way down the spine.

    I will instruct you further if you have been practicing this every day for a few weeks.

    Good luck chlost. I bet you won’t need any internal medication for this knee problem. Just do the self massage first.

    Cheer up and be happy that you did it!


    • Unfortunately, as my knee joints apparently are nearly bone on bone, I don’t believe a spine massage will make all of the pain disappear.

  5. Hi chlost. I wonder if you have ever overstrained your back like carrying heavy boxes and at awkward standing position. Since it is “nearly bone to bone” indicates this situation has been quite long, thus, even walking which is good and suggested by rustedgranny, is unbearable.

    You have lost the fluid at the knee joints. But rubbing (good ointment if u have any) your back (including the kidney areas) and your lower side thigh muscle, it will help you to even get rid of pricking sole pain.

    Of course, it takes time to see the healing effect. On the spot hip walking (as in big-walk, except you don’t move out of standing position). You shift and sway your hips right and left. As you do that, also massage all over your lower back with your clenched fist knuckle.

    The joint fluid will very slowly reappear after all the proper channels are cleared. A photo of your knee will help me diagnose more.

    Well, I’m no expert, but I’ve halped cure myself where I couldn’t even squad for slightly more than a year! My therapist taught me this and I want to share and help others.


    • Thank you for your suggestions. I have my first PT session today. We’ll see how it goes. I think they use many of the same methods.

  6. Hi Chlost,

    So far how’s the PT session going? What sports were you involved prior to all these?
    What exercise do you now do to keep fit?

    me, retiring soon!


    • Three sessions so far, and things are going slowly. I think they want to do things gradually, as my knee is pretty bad. It is nearly 20% off its extension angle. I’m keeping at it. Best wishes for retirement…..wish I could retire! What are your plans?

  7. Hi, how are you and the treatment at the centre getting on? I hope you and your knees get better. Have you been practising what I preached? hope u have. Adios.


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