Posted by: chlost | September 19, 2011

“An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.”

As an actual participant in the following conversation between persons who have known each other for 35  years, I am still shaking my head.

(To set the scene, each of those involved in this conversation is seated at a desk, facing each other. The participants in the conversation are approximately 10 feet apart. Each desk has a computer. Participant #1 is reading an article on the computer while Participant #2 is reviewing bills on the desk. )

#1: Hey, Melissa McCarthy won an Emmy for being Molly in that Mike and Molly show we like.

#2: (Looks up from desk.) Um-Hmm.

#1: It says she is from Plainville, IL- but maybe it’s supposed to be Plainfield.

#2: Uh- huh.

#1: Yup, it is Plainfield where she is from.

#2: Who?

#1: Melissa McCarthy.

#2: Who is she?

#1: She’s on Mike and Molly.

#2: What” s that?

#1: That show that we like to watch.

#2: Oh, yeah, which one is she?

#1: She plays Molly.

#2: Oh, yeah. What about her?

#1: She won an Emmy.

#2: Oh.  What was that about Plainview?

#1: Plainfield. She’s from Plainfield.

#2: She’s from Minnesota?

#1: No, Plainfield, IL, where my sister lived.

#2: Oh, I thought you meant Plainview, Minnesota.

#1: So, in other words, you didn’t get even one piece of the sentence that started this conversation.

#2: What?

#1: You didn’t get that it was Melissa McCarthy, that she is on Mike and Molly, that she won the Emmy, or that she is from Plainfield, Il.

#2: I didn’t know what you were talking about.

#1: You mean you didn’t listen. Again.

#2: You know me, I just don’t get everything you tell me. Why do you get so upset about it?

#1: Because it happens all the time.

#2: But you get so upset over it. Why are you so upset? You have no tolerance for me.

#1: I had tolerance for maybe the first 100 times. Now after 500 times I am losing tolerance.

#2: You just have to understand that is just the way I am.

#1 Walks out of the room to avoid further escalation of the conversation.

It appears that my life is beginning to resemble a Monty Python skit.

*In anticipation of helpful suggestions, please note that hearing evaluations have been suggested and rejected outright. It appears to be an issue of listening rather than hearing.*



  1. Welcome to my world.

    My husband recently chided me because I hadn’t told him about taking tylenol PM or some concoction with diphenhydramine (benadryl) in it to help him sleep. I told him about it, probably no less than 50 times.

    Record one or 2 of these conversations….play it back for him.

  2. That was a most amusing script. Having just learned of this actress on the flight home from Turkey, where I watched 6 episodes in a row, I’m glad she won…but perhaps, in this minute, more glad that you and your husband don’t listen to each other.

  3. Ah, aren’t the males of the species an interesting lot? Mine doesn’t listen either. For that matter, neither do the males at work. I have a theory … there is a gene (either yet to be found or some male found it and hid the data) that all males possess that causes them to “hear” the female voice as nagging (regardless of the tone actually used) and their brain cues them to ignore any nagging.

    True story … the guy I was working for about 9 years ago comes in all freaked out because we needed to have a procedure in place to handle a particular piece of hardware. He swore he didn’t know we needed it. I let loose on him (much to the amusement of our office mates) about stupid men who don’t listen to women because I’d told him 3 months prior we would need that exact documentation.

    I keep telling hubby he’s lucky I work with a bunch of guys as it just drives home the fact that they are all completely untrainable. sigh

  4. Email. Just send them an email. Yes, they live in the same state, county, town, and house, but they are not really there. Even if the computer is one you share, send that email. This is effective because: 1) they cannot deny you told them 2) written documentation exists.
    Works like a charm!

  5. Hey! I resemble these remarks! I believe the issue is a genetic one (sexual dimorphism) and it is not curable. We are just wired differently, but you all know this. Sigh.

  6. Well, I know which one you were in the conversation, because I’ve been there myself 😉

    To the comment above about emailing him, I had to laugh because that’s what my parents do. But it still doesn’t work…my dad deletes the emails and swears he never received them (until my mom opens up the copy in her “Sent” folder and shows him.)

    I’m only fifteen years into this marriage and you’ve given me a glimpse of what I have to look forward to. Thanks. 🙂

  7. There is much to be said for divorcing and never re-marrying! Although I still can’t escape. On Monday I was yelling at Rabbi, “You never listen!”

  8. Hey – do you have my house bugged or what? Add to the general not listening to one another, you can throw in a spouse who is deaf in one ear. Makes for interesting dinner conversation (as in none) if I sit on the wrong side.

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