Posted by: chlost | November 17, 2011


Recently, my life has been an amalgamation of odd and/or bizarre situations. It makes me wonder if these things happen only to me. This past week has been jam-packed with them.

As I have written about in previous posts, my brother-in-law had the funeral home send my sister’s ashes to me. I have been working to arrange the interment of her ashes in the small-town cemetery where my grandparents are buried. I have been on the phone with my family as well as the funeral home in that town.

As I worked to put together a small ceremony for this, I decided to google the name of one of my sister’s friends for contact information. He is a music director for a choir with which my sister sang, and I thought he could suggest some music we could play as part of our gathering.

The google search came up with the website of an unfamiliar composer. In checking that site, I learned that members of the temple congregation where my sister sang had held a service in memory of my sister two weeks ago. My sister died two years ago. This composer had been commissioned by a member of the congregation to write music in memory of my sister. The piece was premiered at the memorial service. My sister was not Jewish. She was not a member of the temple. She had been a singer, hired by the congregation to sing in the choir. But the members of the congregation had gotten to know her over the years. Obviously, they came to love her.

It was purely accidental that I came across this information.

I emailed the composer. He sent me the score for the music he wrote and a recording of another piece of music that my sister loved and which was performed at the service.

Last night I talked to my sister’s friend. He told me more about the service. There were about 200 people who attended it, including my brother-in-law and nephew.

My b-i-l never said a word about it. We talked a week ago, when he decided to have my sister’s ashes sent to me.

My sister’s friend was the director of the choir who performed the commissioned piece. He is sending me a recording of the entire service. There were people who spoke of their memories of my sister. When the original memorial service was held after her death, the minister discouraged speakers (although we defied him and a couple of family members spoke anyway).

Her friend also told me that another composer, someone she worked with at a music school, also wrote a piece in her memory. He didn’t have a recording of the performance of that piece (it wasn’t used in the service), so he is going to have the choir that he directs do a recording of it for us this weekend. Then he will send me that recording as well.

To fully appreciate all of this, you have to realize that when I decided to talk to my b-i-l about my sister’s ashes, it was completely spontaneous. I didn’t call him. He called me about a totally different subject. As we were wrapping up that telephone call, I literally closed my eyes and asked the question about her ashes. I did not ask him to send them to me. I just wanted to spur him on to do something-just to get them out of the funeral home-even just take them home himself. I had not planned to put together an interment of her ashes.

Now, a totally different odd happening…..the kind that only happens to me.

Yesterday, after showering, dressing, and a kiss to Husband, off I went to work. I was in court all morning. In and out of the courtroom, conference rooms, talking to clients, sitting in the hall to wait for hearings, talking with attorneys-the normal stuff. I got out of court around 12:15, and decided to stop by the post office to check for mail before grabbing some lunch and going on to the afternoon court schedule. I drove to the nearby post office, walked in, and checked the PO Box in the lobby. I turned around and felt something odd-a little rush of something down my leg. I looked down at the floor…….

at a balled up sock that had dropped out of my pants leg.

It had been there all morning, and I had not noticed. It must have been held by static electricity after the dryer. I tried to be cool and calm as I reached down to the floor, scooped it up and slid it into my purse.  It felt as though  I should whistle a bit, cool and collected as I walked out of the building into my car.

Only me.



  1. Thanks alot Chlostie! First you got me almost in sad tears at the first 2/3 of this post, happy that you finally have your sister, but sad that this memorial went on without your knowledge….then you hit me across the back of the head by something totally IDIOTIC happening to you! Be glad it was just a sock! What if it had been a balled up pair of your husbands underwear? Or yours! I am SOOOO glad that stuff like this truly happens to other unfortunate souls out there! To recap…Happy you got your sisters ashes… ecstatic that the Idiot Gods have seen fit to grace you with their presence. 🙂

    • Thanks, Mark. I consider it a “win” if I can make you smile!

  2. I imagine you are a bit ticked at BIL … so sorry he didn’t see fit to tell you about the memorial service. Your sister’s friend is a gen though, yes? How sweet to offer to do that second piece and record it for you.

    And the only reason I’ve never had a sock (or other clothing article) fall out of my pants is likely due to the fact that I only wear jeans nowadays. And they are snug enough my “princess and the pea” sensitivity would cause me to actually notice. 😆

    • Who knows? There may be socks stuck in the jeans, too. I think I will be checking the next few times I wear them.

  3. Um, that should be “gem” not “gen” with regard to the friend. D’oh!

  4. I’m quite angry for you – though you didn’t really say whether you were angry yourself. I would not deal well with what you’re describing.

    As for the sock, I bet you looked so nonchalant you could convince other people they’d be cooler if they had a balled up sock fall out of their pants.

    • Thanks-I think I am past angry. Now I am just baffled, totally confused at how someone would not think of sharing that. I don’t think he did it on purpose to us, he just never thought of it.

  5. Just popping in to catch up. The whole situation with your BIL reminds me of a friend who has a similarly peculiar relationship: some people just completely lack empathy. Must be a gene thing. But how lovely to hear about the service and the people who clearly valued and loved your sister. So heart warming, I am really thrilled for you to hear of it and to be able to listen as well. As for the sock: well, that’s life really isn’t it. You could not have illustrated it better – the sublime to the ridiculous. I read somewhere that life has a way of not allowing us to give way entirely to sorrow, it just keeps on poking in:)

    • Thanks for such supportive words. I guess we all could use a sock up the pants leg once in a while.
      I sure hope you are soon feeling back to being yourself, sweffling.

  6. Wow to your BIL’s not mentioning the memorial to you.

    And the sock thing: my son came home one day fuming because he discovered a pair of my lacy underwear in his shirt sleeve – while he was at school!

    • I thought of that, as well….it could have been worse, it could have been something embarrassing like underwear. But for your son….really bad! Did anyone see it? Let him know that I empathize.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: