You look mahvelous!

When I was younger, I thought I would never get old.

Certainly, I thought, I won’t look like an old person.

My teenage years were in the seventies. It was a time of burning bras, wearing hippie clothes, and baby-oil drenched sunning. We were fearless.

The adults in my life tried to tell me. I can remember one comment in particular, which was made to me while I was wearing a very skimpy halter top, obviously bra-less. “Gravity knows no exceptions”, I was told. My friends and I  didn’t believe it. We were sure that we, the golden children of the seventies, were exempt from even the law of gravity.

My grandmothers were both still alive during these years.

I can recall looking at them, both probably in their 60’s at the time, and thinking that they were ancient. Actually, people did look a lot older at 60 than they do now days, but that’s another issue.

Oh, I felt so superior to them. I was disgusted by their arms, their necks, and the practical shoes.  Even the gray hair of one of my grandmothers (my mother’s mother had nearly black hair until she died at age 92-my mother also has black hair with little gray at 81) was something I  found repulsive.  When I looked at their hands, my teenage cockiness knew that I would never have age spots. They were so horrible to see!

Here’s a hint to anyone under 30:  The physical sign of aging which most disgusts you now, will certainly be something which will hit you as you get older.

I know. You are not going to get old.

And I know-even if you do get older, you will never look old.

Trust me.

If you are disgusted by arm flaps at 30, you will have arm flaps in 20 years. Big enough to ventilate a shopping mall.

Those who can’t stand turkey necks now, you are guaranteed to have a turkey neck in the future. You’ll make the Thanksgiving bird sit up and take notice.

If you scoff at being in the sun without protection, you too are going to have age spots. Maybe something worse.

Believe me. That’s how it works.

Every physical attribute that disgusted me when I was younger has attacked me now that I am older as payback for my ungenerous thoughts. EVERY. ONE. It is not a pretty picture.

So, repeat after me………”Old folks are beautiful!  Those arm flaps look wonderful! I hope I look as great as you do when I am your age!”

It’s your only hope. I only wish that someone had told me.

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