Posted by: chlost | June 9, 2012

Hair is the window to the soul



Image via Wikipedia
Image in public domain

Every couple of months I get my hair cut. It is the one indulgence I have allowed myself. Maybe it’s only me, but it seems expensive-$65.00 for the cut-and it is in the city; it feels as though I am being extravagant with money for something frivolous.

My stylist’s name is Mark. He rides a Harley, has long curly hair, just turned 40, and got married again a year ago. He is not necessarily the kind of guy you’d peg as a hairdresser. I’ve known him for about two years, just before I represented his mom in her divorce. He and I have a good relationship.

For some unknown reason, the Department of Transportation decided that all major highways into the city must be closed for construction this weekend. I got caught in a 45-minute traffic jam, and was quite late for my appointment. I was frazzled when I got there. He had been willing to wait for me when I called and told him I would be late, but I felt horrible. I plopped into the chair with a huge sigh of relief. He looked at my windblown hair and asked the routine question “What do we want to do today?”

“Cut it off!”

My daughter-in-law recently shaved her head. Her beautiful head of naturally curly, easy-to-manage hair shaved to a 1/8 in. length (my son did the honors). My hairdresser has cut her hair, so I told him about this.

I also explained that just a few weeks ago, I saw an episode of the show “What Not to Wear” where the young Asian woman ended up with bright pink hair.

My joke was that I was tempted to have him shave my head, but he couldn’t dye it pink. The hairdresser who does not look like a hairdresser then told me that a shaved head and/or bright pink hair just don’t match my personality.

Yes, he is right. I am not someone who would do that.

But as I sat there while he washed and cut my hair just a bit shorter than usual, I realized that in a deep part of me, I desperately want to be the kind of person who could have pink hair. I wish I could be the type of woman who could pull off a shaved head-with panache!

Why can’t I? What is it about me that not only restrains me from doing such a thing, but which radiates that hesitancy to others? Everyone who knows me realizes that I would never have pink hair or a shaved head.

Perhaps it is simply my age. A middle-aged woman with pink hair probably looks a bit pathetic, like a bent paper cone of cotton candy whose bottom half has melted into blobs of sugar. And a woman of my age with a shaved head would likely be expected to be wearing a cancer-survivor pin.


Cotton Candy
Keeps fresh in a bag, vs. being worn on
an old lady’s head

But even at 20, I was not someone who would have had a shaved head or pink hair. I have always taken my hair too seriously.

That is what it must be. I am a serious person.

It is difficult for me to let go, to laugh spontaneously, to yell in anger. I am reserved, never wanting to be the center of attention.

I have always been the person in the back row.

But I wish I could pull off being a pink-haired grandma, leaving a wake of onlookers whispering and pointing at me while I just happily went on my way.

I would love to be the cool old lady.

The rocking old lady lawyer with a shaved head! (does a shaved chin detract from that image?)

But I’m not.

Even my hairdresser knows that for sure.




  1. I’m with you I have hair issues … even wrote an article on it 9see my blog) so thanks for sharing

  2. I am in your fair city until the morning. Yes, half the highways are closed and it’s in the 90’s. I wish I was the kind of person who could walk around casually while naked in this heat. At least my hair is already gone.

  3. I understand perfectly. I am me, and I don’t try to be anything else. But I do wish that “ME” was a little more daring, a little less responsible – and little more lively.

  4. For me at least, it is the bit in the middle that is tricky; I think you can be adventurous when young or old and carry it off with panache. But in middle age I dip in and out ‘caring’ and ‘not caring’. I recently tried to grow my hair longer than I’d had it for a couple of decades, the style consumed my face and was a chore.
    Hand on heart I’d say it was a last ditch at looking like a previous, younger me.
    I’m over it now (my hairdresser said she was ‘just waiting, for me to give up on the style I had in mind’.) I’m now back to a style that works and is sooooo easy, my hair is how it is meant to be; in style (if not in colour!).
    I’d never underestimate the power of hair, a ‘bad hair day’ is one thing a ‘no hair day’ every day, now that is something else.

    • That’s for sure!

  5. I think you would rock the pink hair pretty well………. It would sure liven up the courtrooms up there! πŸ™‚

  6. I’m with you on the not shaving your head or wearing pink hair – I couldn’t do either one. If you’re looking to go wild, you could always just get a few tattoos, (or new ones, if you already have some) πŸ˜†

  7. Mmm, cotton candy,

    Anyway… I think shaved heads look best on young, perfect faces. Ironically, also when your hair is at its peak. But even young, I wasn’t the shaved head type. Not that I was serious about hair – more because hair has never been all that important to me. I’m more the trim it myself and keep it in a ponytail type.

  8. Your blog hit me today when I was looking in the mirror and thinking how awful my hair looks. Then I remembered a few years back when I didn’t have any hair at all. I envied anyone with hair even if it was ugly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on hair. They made me think a little of my own!

  9. I shaved my beard and discovered an extra chin I didn’t recall having. The beard came back rather quickly.

  10. I’ll have you know that, as an extroverted musician-type 44-year old woman who suffers from depression, my baby-pink hair does wonders for my mood and self-esteem. It never ceases to amaze me, the number of compliments I receive from *other women* (of all ages!), and HOT YOUNGER GUYS – and not just the effeminate sweeties :). Almost every time I am out in public, someone has something positive to say about it. Apparently it makes those around me happy, too. My “normal-looking” husband also approves!

    Pretty ‘pathetic’, eh?

    • I love it! You sound like a fun lady! Thanks for stopping here. Come and visit again soon….you can liven my place up a bit.

  11. […] so awesome with pink hair, and yet I don’t have the guts to even change my hairstyle? I even blogged about my secret wish to be able to do […]

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