Posted by: chlost | July 21, 2012

At this age, BFF takes on a whole new meaning


One word. Deceptively simple. Filled with emotion, history and the future.

With adjectives, the word’s simplicity evolves to describe very complicated relationships. A story in just one or two words.

Best friends. Forever.

Girlfriends. Girl friends. Boyfriends.

Old friends….or as I prefer to call them, Long-time friends.

Former friends.

Friends with benefits.


College friends. Work friends. High school friends. Childhood friends.

Blog friends.

These past few days, I was on a mini-vacation. With friends.

Two women whom I have known since high school and I took off for a few days together. We have met fairly regularly for lunches and dinners over the past several years. This is the first time we have traveled together. One of us has had a history of panic attacks when staying in hotels. She finally decided that she was ready to try again with all of us together in one room.

She had no problems on this trip. She is ready to do it again.

One woman is a newly retired special ed teacher. One is a youth education director at a church. The retired teacher has never married and has no children. The church lady has 5 adult children, 6 grandchildren, and a husband who is in the midstages of dementia; she went back to school and got her Bachelor’s degree at age 50.  They are amazing women. Then there is me, a lawyer with 3 adult children.

In three days, we never ran out of things to talk about. We laughed. A lot. We drank (but not as much as we’d predicted). We drove a lot-we were within 7 miles of the Canadian border.  We shopped. One of us really loved the casinos, so we visited three of them (the food is very good!).

Actually, this is not the friend who loved the casino, but she tried and won a little. And then quit.

We ate a lot.

The snack counter of our hotel room. Most of it came home with us.

High school is often a very difficult period of life. The only thing the students have in common is that they attend the same school. Most students never see their classmates after graduation unless they attend a reunion.

Some people have a lot of friends, many of whom come in and out of their lives. I have a few friends, most of whom have been in my life for a very long time. These are the kind of friends that you may not have seen for 10 years, but if you see them, it is as though it was just yesterday that you gushed with them over a boy for whom you had the biggest crush. ” I luv Joe!” can cement a lifetime friendship!

These two friends and I lost track of each other for quite a while after high school even though we lived relatively close to each other. A random meeting, the obligatory “We should do lunch sometime” which turned into a real lunch, and we have been close ever since.

The one thing that was a “must do” on my agenda was to meet a blog friend, Jono. My high school friends are not bloggers. They don’t read blogs. They really don’t know what the word “blog” means. They didn’t know that I have a blog. One of them was very worried about the idea of meeting someone I knew only online. She reluctantly came along, but I think she was secretly planning how to call 911-even though there is very little cell phone service in that area.

We visited Jono’s farm on the “mountain” above Lake Superior. His wide pastures feed Norwegian Fjord horses. The view is spectacular-green hills spotted with cream-colored horses, a horizon of blue water laid out like a table top edged with clouds. Photos do not do it justice, mine especially.

Jono’s pasture overlooking Lake Superior. He is on the right.

So now a blogging friend and my high school friends have connected.

Friends. That simple word again.

The world can be a strange and wonderful place.



  1. You forgot one… although it is ‘implied’ with the other terms… “dear friends”. And yes, the word friends covers a lot of territory. And no, I don’t have 1500 friends, facebook or otherwise. But I do have a select few that mean the world to me… some very close locally and some not so local… and a few I’ve never physically met (blogging).

    • Yes, I agree, “dear friends” are a special category of friends. Of course they can arise from any of the other categories of friends before they become dear friends. One dear or close friend is worth a thousand “acquaintances”.

  2. I should have worn a hat so the glare off my head would not be so distracting! Thanks for the visit!

    • Just so you know, I didn’t see any glare. It was great to meet you Jono, I hope we can do that again when there is more time to chat.

  3. Sounds like a great time with friends. How nice you got to meet a blog friend – that pasture is gorgeous (and I think your picture is great.) I hope you all get to do another trip together.

    I took my first trip with a friend in February when we went to New Orleans. We may try San Diego next year since we can just drive there instead of dealing with the airport.

    • San Diego is one of the places on my must visit lists. I have a feeling my husband is going to insist on going on that trip before my friends and I get a chance.

  4. A great story about friends. How neat that you could meet up with another blogger.

    • I just wish we had had more time to just relax and chat. When I’ve met other bloggers, it is amazing how easy it is to just have a long, interesting conversation the first time we met in person.

  5. I love time with dear friends and also meeting bloggers. I have a friend visiting now who, even though it’s been a couple of years, is able to just pick back up with me like we visited yesterday.

    • Yes, I love that kind of friend. I am not sure how it happens, but there is a little magic there.

  6. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to visit your blog – great post. There is something very unique and special than spending time away with friends when it’s not something you’re in the habit of doing. I loved that you combined your blog friend into the process. Meeting a blog friend is big on my “to do” list. People I tell this too frequently consider 9-1-1 I’m sure. Way to go!

    • I am glad that you came by again. Now that I have spent time away with friends, I am definitely going to do it again and often. I have met 4 bloggers now, and it is great to meet someone whom you feel you already know. A bit like pen pals of the olden days!

      • I’ve tried to meet a blog pal where there is no mobile phone coverage, it’s not easy, as for considering 911 (or 999 in the UK) it was a policeman I was trying to find.
        I was talking to someone the other day who was very sneering about blogs and social network friendships and acquaintances in general, that they couldn’t possibly be ‘real friendships’ I concluded it was their loss.
        I’m planning a girls arty weekend away in a couple of months, with a friend and her pal whom I’ve not met before, I’m sure we’ll have a ball.

      • Yes, I imagine you will have a great time. How funny that you would be meeting an officer! Blogging friendships may be a bit different in that we often have never met, but that doesn’t mean that the friendships are not real!

  7. love this post! feel as if we have parallel lives!

  8. This is so very cool–especially that you brought friends together from different facets of your life. I know I’m realizing what a joy “reconnecting” can be…it’s kind of lovely to have lost someone in your life and then to rediscover him/her. It’s like you had to give each other space and time to become what you’d be, and then you can take the measure of each other anew.

  9. I had the most valued friend way back when I sold on eBay. Didi was everything I am not. When we finally met we clicked. Over the years we had so many good ventures on the net and in person. She died of ovarian cancer. Yes, there are many types of friendship. I’m glad to read of your continuing association with friends finishing your sentences. That’s the mark of the best of friends.

  10. What a coincidence, as I included a segment about girl friends on my current post based on an email a friend sent me. Your characterization of all the different types of friendship mostly reflects my own views. Friends have been one of the most stabilizing forces in my life forever, beginning with one on the east coast (I’m on the west coast) I’ve known all my life. Our degree of contact has ebbed and flowed over the years but we’ve never lost touch. Her husband died recently and mine did several years ago which precipitated the increased frequency of our mutually supportive contact with one another.

    The past ten years or so seem to have resulted in too many of my close friends, younger and older, dying — especially those I knew locally. Also, through the Internet I’ve unexpectedly had contact with a few high school/college friends I hadn’t anticipated — very small class. I’ve only met one blogger in person for a few hours one afternoon in a prearranged meeting at a local coffee shop. He was passing through the area from the Midwest following a hiking trip with a friend of his at Joshua Tree Nat’l Park.

    I expect there might be other bloggers it would be fun to meet — perhaps in the future. This was something I never imagined doing when I first found the blogosphere, but gradually my view changed. Like you, none of my family or friends blog and rarely, if ever, even read my blog. Haven’t been able to interest any others in blogging that I’ve met locally, including members of a 200+ computer club I no longer attend. They’re all into geneaology — maybe FB now, for all I know.

  11. They are to be cherished.

    • Exactly!

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