Posted by: chlost | September 6, 2012

One week to go



Surgery (Photo credit: Army Medicine)


As my surgery date gets closer, I have had less and less interest and energy to post. I am not really sure why that is. But today I realized that it has been about a month since my last post. That’s the longest lull I’ve ever had here. I hope that there is still someone out there who might still be reading.


For whatever reason, I have been more cynical than usual. I have had several posts in mind, especially with the excess of material provided by the current US political scene, but just don’t seem to get around to writing any of it down at the computer. Maybe that is for the best, anyway.


A couple of things have come to mind as I go about my daily routine…..


——-When you approach an intersection on a multi-lane road where the cars ahead of you are stopped at a light, how do you decide which line to join while waiting for the light to change? Does it make a difference if the vehicles in front of you include a truck or a vehicle with a trailer? I find myself making the calculations in my mind as I approach….there are four cars in one lane, but only one semi-truck trailer on the other side…..but the four cars will probably go faster than that truck when starting off from a stop. How many cars would be too many before I should pull up in the lane behind the semi?


——–I have become a fanatic about trying to save myself time and steps. If I have several items to bring upstairs, I figure out some way to carry all of them up at once rather than making two trips. I find myself carrying things in my mouth, piled on top of each other, or one thing inside of another in order to minimize the energy I must expend to move everything to the right place. Of course, there are many times when this backfires, and I drop the entire thing, requiring not only another trip, but a cleaning up of the resulting mess.


——–While on vacation, I found myself getting very crabby. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do the hiking in the mountains with others, and I had brought books along to read. My 82 year-old mother was with us on the trip. I found that I felt sorry for myself almost the entire time, and wanted to be with everyone else rather than sitting with my mother. Then I felt guilty that I was feeling that way. It resulted in a not very enjoyable vacation. And it was completely my own fault.


——–My job does not provide me with many opportunities for “wins”. It is just the nature of this position, no one really wins. But recently, I have prevailed on a couple of issues which were very important for my clients. It feels good to win! I had forgotten how good it feels. I can understand why some politicians enjoy winning so much-no matter what it takes.


——–As I am getting closer to the reality of a major surgery, the fear is setting in. I haven’t had general anesthesia in over 40 years. I have a lot more health issues now. There is a lot more of me now. I don’t like this feeling. I just want this to be done. All I want is to be able to walk normally again. Too bad I have to go through the surgery to make that happen.  I am having fear of complications or surgical errors. I am not looking forward to the surgery, the pain, or the recovery afterward.  the last time I was hospitalized, I coded when I was given a small (2 mg) dose of morphine. Who knows what lies ahead for me this time? I am a wimp.


I will likely have some time on my hands after the surgery. I anticipate spending time reading and on the computer in order to keep myself from going stark raving mad. Perhaps there will be more posts during that time. Hopefully, if I am on pain medication, they will make some sense.


Consider yourselves warned!




  1. I’ll be keeping good thoughts for you!!!

  2. Everything will be fine. This too shall pass.

  3. Just think of the Anesthesia as the best sleep you have had in years…. 🙂 And yes, I also calculate which lane to get into when coming up on a light… I try to never get in the lane that has a truck, RV, or Minivan………cause they will all be slower than death about getting going when the light goes green. Your surgery will be over with and you will be great! Now, go into town and get a huge Juicy Lucy Burger and chow down before the surgery! 🙂

  4. Cranky on, lady. It’s yours to choose.

    —-We live on rural one lane roads. Today we were stopped three times. Once for a boat hauler headed for the marina, once for a funeral procession and lastly for a huge moving van backing into a residential driveway. Traffic in town was fierce. Back to the secret back roads off the highway to maneuver our way for errands.

    —-Tell me about it. I have bursitis in my hip. Walking hurts ( see cranky). I have left over plastic bags everywhere to cart crap from one place to another. I’m thinking maybe if this stiff needs to go someplace else maybe it should all just live there.

    —-I’m really sorry to hear your vacation was a bust. The next time you post I’ll just bet you have something to relate on your trip in a better frame of mind. Persevere!

    —-A reasonable apprehension. “All the best” is trite. Who I am to tell you don’t be scared? I’ll skip this one and catch you on the backside. There will be a backside, I promise. Some of our best posts come on pain meds. So I’ll end as I stared, cranky on, lady.

  5. Your fear is normal. The one time I had major surgery, I was a basket case. But, once the anesthesiologist (we called him “Knockout Charlie” put me to sleep, I was surprised when I woke up that I had been to sleep at all. Good luck, and try not to worry too much.

  6. Enjoyed your litany of thought-provoking items above. Think your questioning and thoughts are natural.

    Wishing you all the best for your upcoming medical adventure. Look forward to reading your drug-induced compositions after the doc party is over and you’re recovering.

  7. I hope the procedure goes well, and you recover quickly.

  8. See, we are here. Just keep us posted, and know that the anethesiologist have many more tools these days.

  9. I hope your surgery goes well. I think it’s normal to be nervous. Gaining mobility might just be worth it, though.

    P.S. I do the same thing when picking lanes. If it’s on a metered ramp onto the freeway, I get behind the truck, though because it’s equal to about three cars 🙂

    Good luck on your surgery!

  10. Having had 2 major surgeries in 5 years, I can tell you that the worst part of surgery is the waiting. The faster you get in there, the less time you have to think about it. How much longer do you have to wait? I know it’s only a week away, but how about picking up a little art/craft – no matter how UNtalented you are going to say you are! Drawing is very meditative and helps relieve stress. The art is in the concentration, not in the result. A journal book, a sketchpad, a pen or pencil – sit and concentrate and look at the object and not the page.

    That is my little speech, but it really has helped me many times, both before and after major surgery, job loss, and all those fun facts of life!

  11. It was a year ago I started my blog just before surgery. I am fine and you will be, too. The recovery will be hazy (pain meds), but you will have lucid moments, do some reading, and you will heal. Time is good for those things. Yes, you will get antsy, but try to float along as the leaf upon the stream. You are always welcome here for a respite.

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