As of today, it has been four years since my sister died. She was just one day away from her 50th birthday. It was very sudden, and the cause of her death has never been formally determined.
There has not been one day in the past four years when I have not thought of her.
She was 5 years younger than me, lived half-way across the country, and we both had busy families. But we talked at least once every week or two by phone. The conversations almost always lasted an hour or so. We never ran out of things to talk about.
Here is something I have never admitted before: I still have a voicemail message on my phone from her. I haven’t had the heart to listen to it. But every time the “save” option runs out, I always skip the message and then “re-save” it.
It has been re-saved every month for the past four years. I don’t think I can ever delete it.
It makes me wonder how long I can keep the phone.