We March to April One Day at a Time

The daylight is lasting longer!

Although it happens every year, it is always a treat to realize that I am not driving to and from work in the dark. It has been rather sunshine-y and relatively warm these past few days. Rather enjoyable over all considering it is the beginning of February in Minnesota.

The brighter, longer days makes it a bit more likely that I will be still be sane when spring arrives in May. That’s always a bit touch and go for me each year.

This winter there hasn’t been much snow. Right now the front yard is brown grass with patches of about an inch of snow here and there. Not so good for the plants, but not so bad for the psyche. It sure is easier to daydream of green grass and flowers when you can actually see the ground.

My 2015 theme word is “Do”, and I have tried to follow that in at least some small ways. We have had the grandkids here for one long weekend and one regular weekend. It is quite busy when they are here. I truly don’t remember that part of parenting….it is just a blur. We aren’t used to it now, and at times Merle gets a bit cranky about not having a chance to relax before starting another work week. We didn’t do a lot this weekend, just had a tea party, played some games, watched videos, and ate. Merle took the girls to see the cows, and I took them to the bookstore. Guess which activity they love more than the other?? When the girls leave at the end of the weekend, even the dog is exhausted. He goes upstairs and plops on his chair, and we don’t see him again until morning. I really enjoy having them here, and it definitely counts as “doing” something.

My “doing” also includes a baby blanket that I am making for an office colleague. She is expecting her first child in a few weeks, so I am under the gun to get it finished started. I make these blankets without any pattern, I just pick out some yarn and make it up as I go along. I suppose that means that the blankets can look a bit goofy, but so far I think they’ve turned out okay. I bought yarn this week, but got home and realized that I didn’t like the way I was thinking of doing it. That means I have to go back and exchange some yarn. So I haven’t started the actual making of the blanket yet. Unfortunately, I don’t think I could get away with working on it in the office, so I will be working on it feverishly in the next several days.

As part of “doing” things this year, I’ve also been booking trips. I am looking forward to several trips-to Texas, Florida and Pennsylvania on the long side, and Northern Minnesota for a couple of short trips for family events. I have things planned through late July-so I still have a bit more to set up to fill out the year. I’ve also been setting up several dinner dates with friends. I usually just go home after work and sit on the computer until I finally drop into bed, so I think that going out to dinner with friends qualifies as “doing” something. If only I could do it without eating so much!

The “do” motto is changing some of the little things in my life. I am a procrastinator of championship caliber. If it doesn’t have to be done, I won’t do it.  I tell myself that I will do it……any time but now. So I have made a big effort to just do it when it comes up and not put it off. That is for things as small as taking out the garbage or starting the laundry. It is a very hard personality trait to change. I still find that I suggest to myself alternative times for things to get done… and I am a sucker for these suggestions. I will find myself arguing back with my thoughts to convince myself that I can just do it now instead of putting it off.  My goal of working on the family budget, for instance, involved obtaining bank information. All of the information I put together is still sitting in a pile for me to review. A half victory, I suppose.

The anniversary of my sister’s death is this week, the day before her birthday. It is always a hard week. I usually feel it looming over me as soon as the holidays are over. This year is no different, but I do feel a little better about it. Five years is a long time to be in mourning for a sister, but part of my “doing” is to try to let go of some of the depression that has hung on since then. My procrastination is even part of this. In my mind I tell myself “After this anniversary, you can start to let go of the dark feelings”. It will be easier then.

Work has been slow as far as the number of cases, but the cases that I do have are more difficult. It drains me most days. I keep telling myself that I have only a few years to go, then I will be in a warm location for the winter.  Procrastination again…..in a few years when we are someplace warm for the winter, it will be better.

Meanwhile, the daylight is getting longer! It makes almost everything easier.

As Merle is fond of saying, “We are one day closer to April”.