Posted by: chlost | March 5, 2010

Men and women

My husband and I have spent the day together.  It has been a long time since we have had the chance to do that.  Now that we are back to having the house to ourselves, I suppose that will happen more often.

We had an interesting conversation as we were driving to an appointment.  We discussed a relative (on his side!!), a man, who, we have been told, “creeps out” the young women in the family.  He is very socially awkward, very intense.  I have never particularly liked him, but he is of my generation. The younger women in  the family are bothered by him partly based on him being older than them.  He is intelligent, and attempts to corner people to convince them of his point of view.  He questions (or perhaps interrogates them).  These young women are intelligent, savvy, and very good-looking).  I think they are accurate in picking up the vibe that there is some sexual harassment in his attitude toward them.

In any event, my husband’s and my conversation turned to the differences between men and women.  I stated that I thought that this relative was thinking of these young women sexually, and that this was inappropriate.  My husband’s response surprised me.  He stated that men and women think about sex differently.  Men think with their penises. Their thoughts begin “at the bottom” (the crotch) and move up to their head.  Women begin at the head and move down to the bottom.

I have been thinking about this description.  I remember when I was in college, I met a young man who was very honest with our group of very naive and innocent females.  He told us that he evaluated every woman he encountered as to how they would be in bed.  I was shocked.  I had no idea that men thought that way about women.  I certainly did not think that way about men.  In fact, sex was about the furthest thing from my mind.  I may have appreciated a good-looking man, and in some vague way realized his sexuality, but sleeping with someone was not in my mindset.  It was an eye-opening conversation, to say the least.

When do men lose this attitude, and how is it applied as they age?  Do 80 year-old men still think about having sex with every 20 year-old woman they encounter? Every 70 year-old woman? 

I admit that as I have gotten older, I think about sex more than I did at 20-I am not exactly sure why.  But I don’t apply that standard used by that young man to the men that I meet.  It makes me wonder about gay male couples.  If both of them are this highly sexual, I guess that the sex must be continuous? All I know is that is not my experience with the man in my life!

Oh, the world is such a confusing place.

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