Posted by: chlost | April 5, 2010


A friend of mine recently sent me a “Purity Pledge” designed for the anti-socialist government activists out there.  I am not sure to whom I should attribute this pledge, but I thought it was quite a good summary of the illogical thought process and the disconnect between the rhetoric and real lives of the current right-wing fanatics.

                                          Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

“I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will
abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

           “Veterans benefits – Social Security – Medicare/Medicaid – State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP) – Police, Fire, and Emergency Services – US Postal Service — Roads and Highways — Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA) — The US Railway System — Public Subways and Metro Systems –Public Bus and Light Rail Systems — Rest Areas on Highways — Sidewalks –All Government-Funded Local/State Projects — Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!) — Public and State Universities and Colleges — Public Primary and Secondary Schools — Public Museums — Libraries –Public Parks and Beaches — State and National Parks — Public Zoos — Unemployment Insurance — Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services –Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them) — Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them) — Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions) — Use of the Internets,
email, and networked computers, as the DoD’s ARPANET was the basis for
subsequent computer networking — Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies — Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies — If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forgo my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care.”

Personally, I would add some other things that would need to be avoided in order to truly be pure.  These would include not using any US currency, not dealing with any business which has accepted a government backed loan from the SBA, not visiting in any home which has been financed with VA or FHA financing, and not using the services of any business or professional who has either been educated in a publicly subsidized institution, or who has paid for that education with government subsidized or guaranteed loans. 

I suppose the point is that a “socialist” government is not all bad, as long as you are the one who benefits from the services provided by that government.  If you believe that “unworthy” people may receive benefits, or that your current situation may be impacted by providing benefits to others, the government is bad, i.e. “socialist” for providing those benefits to others.

I’m not so pure. Guess that I’ll just have to live with being an impure “socialist”.



  1. Meeeeeeeeeeeee too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you noticed how many Teabaggers are old and probably receiving Social Security and Medicare? All I can say is I’m grateful for both.

  2. DAMN… I’m loving this. I want to log onto some of these Tea Bag sites and ask those morons to take this pledge. This is awesome!

  3. I just printed that out for my son – he needs all the ammunition he can get when people start their “you’re a socialist” spiels at him.

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