Posted by: chlost | February 25, 2011

Dropping chunks

Within a few days of any snowstorm, almost all citizens in this area over the age of 16 are overcome with a condition which is both disgusting and dirty.  Only time can help those who suffer. The disease has horrible symptoms, and the consequences of it reach beyond the individual to the rest of the community.

Those who have this condition will catch it over and over again. There is no immunity to protect them from another attack. The affliction will continue for several days, as the symptoms slowly disappear.

Desperate in their attempts to rid themselves of this awful malady, those who are suffering may take drastic measures. Some will forcefully attempt to destroy the evidence of their affliction.  However, the symptoms will eventually return as they go on with their daily lives, going to work, school or home.

There has been little or no publicizing of this matter-it is too embarrassing.  The professionals have not formally named this condition. The situation which has only gotten worse this year. Someone needs to step up and get out the word.

To that end, I am taking the lead, and have designated a name for this dangerous and terrible affliction. I am calling it….

“Dropping Chunks”

This should not be confused with another condition, Hurling Chunks, which is a totally different disease, unrelated to this.

Desperate individuals leave behind evidence of their suffering in parking lots, streets, driveways, and even garages. There are unspoken rules which the model citizen tries to follow. For example, it is considered quite inappropriate to leave this evidence in a neighbor or friend’s driveway, but at times it is unavoidable.

Here are examples of the results of such horrible suffering, recently found left behind in a local parking lot:

Sometimes, it is unavoidable, and the identity of the victims are easily identifiable. However, I have taken measures to ensure that their privacy is maintained:

To those of you who have only recently seen such an epidemic in your area of the country, I will forewarn you. Only warm weather will completely eradicate this scourge.

 

 

As you can tell just from the fact that I would think of, write and take pictures of this stuff, spring cannot come soon enough!

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Responses

  1. We always referred to them as “snow boogers.”

    • I absolutely love that term. I’m going to use it from now on.

  2. We sometimes will see those laying on the shoulder of the road during the winter months….. So, now I know…..It is you northerners who are deposting those disgusting things on our roadways! Thank! Thanks a lot!! 🙂

    • Yes, that’s right. We send all of our chunks to you. You’re welcome.

  3. I find a dropped chunk immensely satisfying…I LOVE kicking them off on warm days…

    Hurling chunks, we can do, too–4 a.m., Paco, into the sink. Good times.

    • I like to kick them, too. Sorry about Paco. Yuck!

  4. We just got a couple more inches dumped on us last night so I had to dig out Miss Ruby today. The Buckeye Chuck predicted an early spring but I’m not counting on it so chunks will continue. Sigh.

    • It is back to the frigid cold here, too. It is so exhausting.

  5. Now, this is a new US pastime for me! Over here is would be a law of “No fouling the pavements or paths with chunks”. I love the idea of Chunk Hurling, sounds very Irish:)

    • Such a law would be unenforceable, or every citizen would be a criminal—wait, maybe that would be a way to increase revenues-they could charge fines for dropping the chunks! Btw-hurling chunks is what the younger set calls vomiting-perhaps it is Irish!?

  6. Since it doesn’t snow where I live, it took a bit to figure out what these chunks were that your described. (Pics helped – thanks :))

    That is the bad part about snow…it looks so pretty when it’s untouched. But then, you get chunks.

    • Yeah, they don’t show those on the holiday cards.


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