Father and son

Our oldest son owns a duplex. He lives in the top floor unit and rents out the bottom unit. This is part of his life plan. The rent covers a large portion of his mortgage. The plan is that he is saving money to eventually buy another home, perhaps another duplex, and work his way toward financial independence.

Not a bad plan. Certainly more  of a plan than we ever had.

Owning a duplex, however, comes with a responsibility to maintain it. This is a home which was built in approximately 1890. It is a big job to keep it up. As a duplex, there are higher requirements to maintain the home to code.

My husband has always been a do-it-yourself guy when it comes to home maintenance and improvements. There was a show on HGTV not too long ago about DIY disasters. We could have been on that show for some of the projects. Overall, though, he knows a lot and does a good job. But he always was the boss of the job. He would do things himself. The kids were usually not part of the project-I was the one handing over the correct tool, holding the measuring tape, or helping him think through the problems he encountered. Not the kids. They weren’t interested, and he was impatient with them.

Yesterday, our son took on a project by himself to demolish an old and crumbling concrete stairway and rebuild wood stairs to his front door. He had purchased all of the supplies. He had researched the code requirements. He had checked on the internet websites for the tips and tricks to do the job right.

My husband had to work yesterday, so I went to our son’s house to help out. I figured he would need someone to hand him things, hold things, and be the go-fer. It took him almost all afternoon to demolish the old stairs. Sledgehammer vs. concrete. They just don’t make them like that anymore.

My role was similar to that with my husband on our projects. I kept him company. I handed things to him.  My son and I  tried to figure out the logistics to correctly place the steps. Three steps or four? Flush to the underside of the front deck or build it out? Pour a concrete extension of the sidewalk or not?

I really wasn’t much help.

Finally, my husband came over after work. The two of them had it figured out quickly, and for the most part, the steps were built in just a short time. There is still some finishing that they will do tonight after work.

The thing that struck me was how well they worked together. Father and son. My husband had a little trouble stepping back and letting our son be the “boss” of the project. His first instinct is to do it himself. But he was great. Our son did most of the project himself, with two parental “supervisors”.

It was impressive. They were a team. They seemed to understand each other almost implicitly. No impatience, no disagreements.  I watched them work together and felt almost jealous.

How does that kind of relationship happen?

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