Lost

One unexpected, hard-earned and now greatly appreciated benefit of my surgery is that I lost a lot of weight. I was unable to eat and was totally uninterested in food for approximately three weeks. My husband’s estimate is that I had approximately 2000 calories in the first two weeks after the surgery. If you recall, I believe that my diet primarily consisted of red popsicles.

In the last few weeks, I have also lost a little more weight. This has not been quite so hard-won, but it has added to the total. I hesitate to tell you the full amount (let’s just say it is substantial). unfortunately, there is still room for more loss.

It has been quite a while since I was at this weight. I don’t have any of my next-size-down clothes any more. Not too long ago, I gave them all to the local Goodwill. I was certain that I would not be able to wear them any more. There is a saying that if you haven’t fit into it in more than 3 years, it’s likely you never will….so get it out of your closet. Over the years I have struggled with a thyroid issue, and have gained a little more weight each year. It didn’t seem likely that I’d ever be losing weight.

Now that I am back at work, I am trying to figure out what to wear. Do I hope to lose more weight? Yes, in fact I do. So, does it make sense to buy a whole bunch of new clothes for my current size? I’m not sure. My job requires that I look professional. Does it look professional to have clothes that don’t fit? Probably not, but it does show that I am less of a person than I was before the surgery!

You’ve heard of droopy pants.  I hate that. Many of the kids I represent can barely keep their pants up as they walk. Now that’s me. My jeans come off without the use of a zipper. My dress pants flap a bit in the breeze as I walk.

And this morning I was shocked when I looked in the mirror and noticed that I have a collar bone. It’s true! There was this strange shape showing just below my neck. It took me a few seconds to realize what it was.

Merle hasn’t made much of this. I am not sure that he can see the difference. He suffered with me for every pound in those first two weeks after the knee surgery. It’s not as easy to see if you’ve been there throughout the ordeal. It is much more obvious if you have only seen me before and after the operation.

It’s a “problem” that I am enjoying, but it’s also confusing.  I didn’t expect it, and I am not quite sure how to handle it.

I’m sure I will figure it out.

As long as I don’t unexpectedly lose my pants, I’ll do fine.

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